I’ve written before about how a strong and active social network is really important for our physical and mental health.

Research shows that interaction with those individuals we most value, gives us protection against inflammation in the body, dementia and many other undesirable illnesses and conditions. 

I know that sometimes making time for family and friends can take some organising, especially when we’re in the sort of mood where we relish a few days without having to meet or speak to others.

But alas it’s all too easy in that frame of mind to allow two or three days to become a week – and to get into the habit of solitude. This may seem comfortable in some ways, but it rarely benefits our mental or physical well-being. 

So, this is a reminder from me that you should arrange contact with others face to face several times a week.

And when you can’t actually meet up with people who matter to you, to schedule other ways of being in touch such as via email, Whatsapp or Facetime.

I know it’s not always easy, but being alone too much can lead to quite skewed thinking and even anxiety and depression.  

Really, the importance of contact with those we love can’t be over-emphasised and this has been reinforced for me recently as I happen to know two women who are grieving because of sudden deaths; one of a sibling and the other a very close friend. 

I want to mention this because I’m aware that those of us who write about grief, very often focus on the loss of a partner.  

That of course is a major bereavement, but other losses can be equally painful; the death of a brother, sister or friend, or even a pet can be devastating, so I urge any readers who are suffering in this way to make sure they have support and good listeners around them. 

I also think this would be a good moment to remind us all to give special care to our friends and family when they are in mourning, and never to assume that the sorrow at the loss of those who are not partners is somehow less severe or less important. 

Let’s face it, many of us have pals who predate our romantic liaisons. And of course, the same is true of siblings. Small wonder then that these losses hit us so hard. Indeed, they can leave us feeling as though a vital layer of clothing has been ripped away from our bodies in a wintry storm. 

What can we do when such events occur and leave us shocked and lost? 

Many bereavement counsellors suggest a memory box and I think this is a good idea. We have gifts from those who have departed, cards, CDs in common, photos through the ages.

Perhaps diaries too. It can feel very healing to gather these together. And you can always add some fresh writing if you want to put pen to paper. Perhaps a eulogy for this person who has meant the world to you.    

Maybe too, you might want to keep this treasured individual alive to you by holding gatherings to remember him or her, for example on birthdays or the anniversary of their death.

Being in the company of others who mourn the same person, and talking together and sharing stories, can soothe your pain and often bring you closer to others in the group. 

I began this column by talking about the need for a strong social network and I come back to that now because the death of siblings and other family, as well as friends, can leave a huge hole in it.

Often, we have prioritised these people over our more extended circle of acquaintances and now, suddenly, they are no longer around, and we can’t count on them for regular companionship. 

You are never going to replace those close people whom you have lost, but as we age, I think we all need to be mindful of the fact that our address book has a lot of crossings out in it.

And I believe we should therefore try to forge a closer contact with individuals we meet day to day and to maybe suggest a coffee together, or lunch, or trip to the cinema.

Frequently, others are very pleased when we make the first move. 

I regularly give talks to branches of the University of the Third Age (U3A), and such organisations are a great source of fascinating men and women to get to know and do things with. Book groups are wonderful for companionship as well.

And AmDram, sports clubs, dance, yoga or Pilates classes. Local politics too, or your place of worship if you have. one.   

Frankly, around every corner, there is the possibility of a new friendship just waiting to happen. So, keep your eye out for it.