Would you agree that many of us are more nervous than we were before Covid?

I was discussing this recently when I gave a talk to a large group of lively and interesting Women’s Institute members in Huntingdon.

Several of them told me that a number of their branches had had to close because so many women who had been active in the organisation had never returned when life opened up again.

This is a real shame because as we age, we need to keep meeting new people and making new friends and injecting as much variety and stimulus into our routines as possible. The alternative is to stay home, become more detached and isolated – and often miserable and less fit too. That’s no way to pursue our goal of positive ageing! 

So, what stops us from being more socially active? Well, there’s always an element of laziness, but also, I do believe we’re more anxious than we were pre-2020, and that we feed this anxiety by a series of challenging questions that begin with the words, “What if?”

One of the main areas of worry seems to centre on travel. 

Ideally, though loads of people would like to be on a sun-kissed beach far, far away, many of them can’t face all the organisation and upheaval that goes with getting there. 

But even close to home, I know folk who won’t agree to go even quite short distances to visit friends or have a meal in a pub with family because they’re so stressed about finding a parking space.    

As for a train journey into London to go to the theatre, a sporting event or a gallery – that can set off a serious spiral of negative questioning. 

What if the train is cancelled? Worse still, what if there’s a points’ failure or a fatality on the line? What if the last train home is packed with rowdy hen parties, or there’s a bus replacement, or the train doesn’t run at all and somehow no one helps, and you’re stranded in the capital overnight? 

What can you do to kick these worrying negative thoughts into touch? 

Start with practical strategies. If you can halt the stream of unhelpful thoughts as they start to come into your mind, that is always good. One way of achieving this, is to wear an elastic band around your wrist and snap it against your skin (this can be quite painful) when you begin thinking negatively.

Then, once you have stopped the thoughts in their tracks, concentrate on something lovely, or divert yourself by getting involved in an activity, like Facetiming your grandchildren.   

Your tendency to be anxious can also be reduced by establishing some reliable ways of defusing tension, such as meditation, singing in a choir, Pilates, doing puzzles or taking part in a sport which you love.

Pleasurable pastimes help us generate more feel-good chemicals, in our bloodstreams; these are called endorphins, and they’re excellent at chasing away damaging stress hormones.   

Another way to dismiss worrying thoughts can be to flip your “what ifs” so that instead of your questions being negative, you imagine positive possibilities instead. If you’re going to a party, for example and are worried about it, try: “What if it’s terrific? What if I meet new friends? What if I meet a possible new romantic partner?”

Reinforce these questions by visualising yourself at the event, laughing and joking, eating lovely food, and feeling happy.

If that doesn’t work, take each worry one by one and give it a rating for how likely it is to happen. For instance, if the prospect of a train journey is stirring up panicky feelings, ask yourself to assess the chance of your train being cancelled.

Well, trains do get cancelled, but much less than you think. Even so, you might give it a rating of 30 per cent. Then tackle your worry about a points’ failure. That is much rarer, so you’re going to probably rate that as low as 5pc or something similar. Go through all the worries, and there is a very strong possibility you’ll see that the chance of anything catastrophic taking place is really low. 

At the same time, keep reminding yourself that the more you get out and do things, the more upbeat, content, balanced and young at heart you’re likely to be. 

I know we’re feeling more delicate these days and would like to eliminate risk if we could. But eliminating all risk is likely to lead a very dull existence. 

When people reach the end of their lives, they often have regrets. However, these regrets aren’t usually about what they’ve done wrong, but about the opportunities they failed to seize.

I remember Sir John Betjeman reputedly said he regretted not having had more sex. I don’t suppose he’s the only one. 

Finally, men and women frequently duck out of social events and invitations because they fear they’ll be bored. But so often when we pluck up courage to do something different, we have a wonderful time and are not bored at all.

However, let’s remember that even if it doesn’t go well, boredom never kills anyone.

Sadly, isolation can, and does.