When pubs are on their knees struggling to survive, they’re kicked to the ground by the prospect of the government turning their beer gardens into no-smoking zones.

Pub gardens, playgrounds, restaurant terraces and outside hospitals and sports stadiums are all on the list where smoking will be banned because, says the prime minister, of the “huge burden” smokers put on the NHS.

As if smokers haven’t been Public Enemy Number 1 since 2007 when the smoking ban came into force, now they are vilified as the extra burden straining the already-strained NHS with us taxpayers paying to treat their preventable illnesses. Boo hiss.

But, with a packet of 20 fags costing £13-£15, the tax smokers pay to risk their health stands at about £9 billion a year in tobacco duty for the Treasury.

Smokers’ cost health and care services about £3.6 billion.

Even with my C at O-level maths, I can spot smokers are paying their way and then some.

So, to make their argument work, the Department of Health says an extra £13 billion a year impact is made on the wider economy because of sick days because of smoking so action is needed to achieve a smoke-free Britain by 2030.

This is a pipe dream – excuse the pun – much like net zero ambitions but at least a plan shows ambition.

And with 80,000 people a year dying because of smoking, it’s sensible to take action. But we’re replacing one problem with another. 

The number of smokers is drastically lower than 20 years ago, while obesity, and all the health issues that brings, is on a steep upwards trajectory for all ages, especially children and young people storing up a crippling expensive outlook for health services of the future.

Addressing people’s attitude to the ratio of calories taken in to calories expended is infinitely more difficult than stamping out smoking, now an easy target.

Playgrounds are an obvious place where smoking should not be allowed. Parents should also be banned from smoking while pushing their children in pushchairs or anywhere around their children.

Banning smoking in cars with anyone under 18 in the car was one of the best pieces of legislation by the last government.

And stopping patients in dressing gowns, hospital robes and wheelchairs puffing away outside hospital doors is long overdue, although making people go cold turkey will just add extra pressure on to already stressed staff.

But pub gardens? Come on, there needs to be some sense and perspective in this, and consideration of the real impact of second-hand smoke outside.

It’s hard to believe now that the morning after a night out in the 80s and 90s felt like waking up in the overflowing ashtray, the centrepiece of many 1985 office desks.

Our hair and clothes reeked like we’d bathed in Eau de Benson and Hedges. Work and play were spent in the fug of smoke.

Now the faint whiff provokes outrage.

Continue to tighten restrictions – on the spot fines for people who stub out fag ends on the pavement and leave them or chuck them out of car windows.

And protect children where it’s possible – in social and council housing – because they have no choice.

But leave pub gardens as a haven for social pariahs because this could be the final straw for so many pubs.

Getting tough on shoplifters

Finally. Norfolk is top of the league for something.

It has the highest charge rate for shoplifting offences in England and Wales.

Chief Constable Paul Sanford told BBC Radio 4’s Today that his officers charge people in 31.7pc of cases because of the action it takes.

"In my force, we're detecting 46pc of shoplifting, so you've roughly got a 50pc chance of whether you're going to get caught. 

"That's a strong deterrent, that's a strong risk-reward ratio. What needs to follow is the appropriate sanctions, and swift sanctions.”

For so many independent shops losing money from brazen shoplifters and brass-necked thieves walking out of supermarkets laden with goods arrogant that they won’t get stopped, this is what we want to hear from the police.

Bravo.

Oasis are rolling in it

Suddenly everyone between 20 and 65 is an Oasis fan desperately devising syndicates and ploys to try to get lucky when tickets go on sale on Saturday morning.

The ticket prices will match the hype with people willing to pay silly money to be there. It’s FOMO on steroids.

It makes you wonder if the last 15 years of fraternal animosity has been nothing but a cleverly choregraphed narrative to create this mega-hype to bring in big money from fans willing to pay whatever is asked to say they were there and witness a reunion (and pay for Noel’s latest divorce).

Lazy mornings are good for the heart

A lie in at weekends could save your life.

Exactly what we all want to hear when the 5am clubbers are proclaiming the value of getting up with the lark and accomplishing so much before 7am.

Experts said a 14-year study of nearly 91,000 UK adults showed that people who regularly had lie-ins on Saturdays and Sundays developed heart disease less often than the chronically sleep-deprived - a fifth less likely.

Catching up on sleep at the weekend can help reduce inflammation and keep blood pressure and cholesterol healthy, said the findings presented to the European Society of Cardiology’s annual congress in London.

Staying in bed really is lifesaving.